My Bad

WOW, I am bad at this. 

Let's make this a short update. Seeing as it has been almost a month since I updated last (making me horrible at this blog thing) it might surprise you that not a lot has happened. I have had my head unwillingly shoved into numerous textbooks in a sad attempt to keep up with my studies. But thank God, the semester is coming to a close. One final exam and one paper stand between me, 21, and freedom from this heinous semester. 

Tomorrow I have told myself I will conquer and hand in this paper about Title IX and take my Journalism Ethics exam. Almost immediately afterwards I'm going to have my first legal drink with my parents and my sister in Georgetown. Paint me excited. 

After that the summer of glory begins. Don't hold your breath kids, let the party begin. 

Friends or Not?

I've been thinking about friendships and relationships a lot lately. All of my thinking has boiled down to this. All we really want is someone to care about us. 

My family comes tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited. Mostly because I know that no matter what happens, they'll care about me. How do I know this? Leave it to my brother to terrify a nurse in a hospital in New Jersey on a massive search for me in a bed somewhere in that hospital. I wish I I could say the same about my friends here. DC, with all of its perks, I have come to find is a very egotistical city. If you start paying attention, people only talk about themselves. You'll begin with a story, "So I was walking downtown today..." "REALLY? I walk downtown..." and you've lost a listener. 

My best friend from home Gabi brought this to my attention some time ago, and ever since then I can't forget it. 

This past weekend I had a party to celebrate our friends and the Cherry Blossom festivities. Out of a room of 20. I could only pick out 3 people who I considered friends. One actually asked if this party was going to get any better. If a friend invites you to a party and it blows, I say embrace it. Maybe it's just me, but am I living in everyone else's world? It's not our world, it's theirs. I wasn't once asked about how I was, but I was asked about a summer job or internship and where I was living next year. Is this what makes me a worthy friend? Gainful employment and a place to live? 

At times I felt like I was being judged at face value. Judged period!

Host, female, sarcastic, slightly bitchy, under 21, employed, internship, rent this much. 

Net worth? Not worth their time. 

Wow, she's drinking an awful lot. Can you believe she wore that? Did you hear what she just said?

I can right now, think of Gabi, who would carry me home if I was puking all over myself, compliment me on an interesting outfit choice, and laugh about it WITH me, not at me, and tell me I'm an idiot for saying stupid things... to my face. 

When the first friend I ever met at AU (fellow Jerz-ian) showed up to the party, I cried when I met him in the parking lot. I cried realizing that outside of my boyfriend, he was the only person who cared about me in there. I haven't seen him since we celebrated his birthday in December, but that didn't matter. We don't have to see each other every waking moment to maintain a friendship. When I'm upset, he knows, and asks me about it. Not about if I offered him anything, any benefits from our friendship. 

I recognized this on a microscopic level some time ago, and decided to kill them with kindness, all of them. No one can be mean to a girl who's nice all the time. Well guess what? NO ONE is nice all the time. You slip once and it's back to judgy town. 

I decided then and there to stop wasting MY time. Life is short, man. Why waste my time trying to be kind to people that don't share the same kindness back to me. 

I am thankful for my friends, genuine friends. I don't need millions, the four I have right now will suffice :). You know who you are.

Bottom line? We all just want someone to care about us. Poor, unemployed us. 

My Mission: Make DC More Appealing

I apologize for the gap in time since my last post. I was in glorious Florida relaxing before returning to the heightened pace of DC. I, like a nerdy tourist, love to completely engulf myself in an area I haven't experienced before (Tampa, FL and Naples, FL, being two places I have not experienced). Little did I know, this was not the engulfing crowd. Like the rest of my family, we're up and moving by 9 a.m. Not this crowd. Despite the slightly slower pace, I loved the warm weather, the amazing friends, and glorious beaches. To my boyfriend's (Terence) surprise (and a little of my own) I was defending DC, a place I found individualistic, selfish and uninviting two weeks prior, in a sea of Florida-ites. Tough crowd, I know, but I found numerous people who *GASP* missed the seasons, which makes me even more hesistant to leave them. I plan on posting photos soon (whenever I muster up the strength) but I had a lot of fun. A well needed, enjoyable break.

Fastfoward through my first week back. At the very beginning of the week I made a list of assignments I have to have completed by March 30th (including 3 papers and quite a bit of reading) so that I can afford (AKA not flunk out of college) while driving to the Catskill Mountains the weekend of the 28th. Terence and I are going to surprise his mom and brother (for his brothers birthday!) and hopefully pop in on my parents on the way home as well. Should my car be able to make the 6 hour venture, it will be a lot of fun. Now I just have to make sure I don't miss any massive assignments.

I am on a mission to make Terence like DC. It's not that he doesn't like it.... persay. He just misses Florida... and talks about it... a lot. SO I decided while we were in Florida to do everything that I can to ensure that while DC may fall second best to Florida, that I make it the closest race humanly possible. Tonight I took him on a surprise date. I blindfolded him and took him to the Washingtonian Center in Gaithersburg, MD. Thankfully, the cold weather didn't scare away the crowds and there was enough to do before "going out" time. Tomorrow the mission to make DC super cool continues and hopefully the cold weather won't stop us from going to Glen Echo Park. Another new spot, which I hear has good photo opportunities! If you have any good ideas of things to do in DC that are off the beaten path and won't constantly remind me that I only have 40 days until I'm 21, those would be much appreciative. Tonight when Eddie said, "Hey Natalie, are you coming along" when the guys left for a much needed guys night, I said, "No. Wouldn't that be depressing?" He didn't get it so I had to tell him I wasn't 21 yet, to which he was floored. SO CLOSE!

Now I conclude watching both Leno and Fallon and wait for the boys (plural, I'm hosting numerous tonight) to come back from the bar. Me? I have a date with some homework to ensure that Catskill pans out. 

Goodnight all. Let Spring begin. 

 

"This is What Life's About, Seriously, This is What Life's About."

Thanks to Professor Wapner for the title of this post. I interviewed him yesterday. Really, really interesting guy. I feel like you learn something from every person you interview and I learned a lot from Professor Wapner. He's the Associate Professor and Director of the Global Environmental Politics program at AU and I interviewed him for my Advanced Reporting profile (FINALLY, someone would talk to me). 

I came across an interesting predicament in my search for an interviewee though. I arrived at his office obnoxiously early (1:50 for a 2:00 interview) because I'm compulsive like that, but good thing. A different man answered the door and informed me that Prof. Wapner would be taking his office in the library. Awesome, less pressure, good atmosphere, one problem... I don't know what Prof. Wapner looks like. So here's a question for you: How do you approach someone you've never met and only are able to recognize from a photo you saw on the SIS web site without being pinned as an interview stalker? Second problem, he's with a student, and theres a line of students behind this one. GAH. I freaked because not only do I ALWAYS get nervous for interviews, even if it's nothing, but this interview has been the hardest to get by far. I NEED this interview. So, I walked into the bathroom and gave myself a pep talk, walked back into the MudBox and introduced myself. I got in line with the rest of the students :), BUT I GOT THE INTERVIEW, which makes me a happy camper as my mother would say, even though I hate camping, and I'm never happy while doing it. 

So update time. Only two days until I'm on a train New Jersey bound and I cannot wait. I took my last midterm last night which wasn't as bad as it should have been seeing that I didn't study half as much as I would have had I had the time... (that's a lot of haves, sorry). I texted my parents, my brother, and my sister last night to tell them how excited I am that I'll be seeing them soon and it was great to hear from them. I'm currently in the Rockville Library jamming out to Jack Johnson and searching for a lead for this profile... no luck yet. My only assignment for the next 2 days is to make a new package for the post cards I designed two weeks ago. Which means another trip to the art supply store for Natalie, which means... it'll be windy because I'm buying matt board.  But then American Idol and Lie to Me are on which are the perfect television shows to top off a day off. Prof. Wapner said he doesn't watch TV yesterday and I instantly felt like a moron. I like TV... and you're right, TV is stupid. 

I got a letter from myself yesterday. That sounds weird, but last year I took a creative writing ckass with Professor Noble. She's great. If you have any interest in writing you should take a class with her. On the day of our final she gave us each a sheet of paper and told us to write a letter to us, 6 months from now. Mine was more like a list of to-do's more than a letter. It was a "here's where you should be, so kick your butt in gear" note. Quite profound if I do say so myself. 

Well this post is quite lengthy so I'll end it here, but leave you with something Professor Wapner said. One of the many interesting points he made. He said, "There are so many people who need to be helped out of poverty, it's somewhat our responsibility to do that, but at the same time, we are ushering these people into consumptive lifestyles that they can't handle. So I think we have to reduce our consumptive habits in this country and in the north in general, and recognize that this has to be a part of the larger sustainability trajectory."

<3.

Thank God for Wednesday

I just realized the actual religious sentiment for this Wednesday being Ash Wednesday, but I was initially talking about how I don't have classes on Wednesday and how that's amazing. It's like a one day weekend in the middle of the week. 

I'm sitting in my apartment waiting to do an interview for my Advanced Reporting class (thumbs down) but it has been really hard to get a hold of someone and actually get it done. It's due on Thursday so if I finish the interview today tomorrow will be that much more enjoyable. I

 just hope it works out because if not, I'm screwed. I stayed home from work so I could call and do the interview and I don't want to be loud/get interrupted. 

The second half of my weeks are always easier

 than the first half. Thursday I just have Adv. Reporting, which may feel like it lasts for 7 hours, is only 2 and a half hours long. After that the only thing stopping me from the weekend is Intermediate Typography which I absolutely love this semester and whatever work hours I have to make up. Fun stuff going on at work too. Farmers Market, Women's History Month, Saint Patrick's Day events, upcoming SG elections. Now that Founders' is over there's a lull (shh don't tell anyone!) I am quite proud of all of those designs though. See the picture of the mug I designed to the right :). 

This weekend is also exciting. It's the last weekend before SPRING BREAK and there are some Mardi Gras celebrations occurring. I only have one actual "midterm" next week but I do have a quiz in another course which is only one of four things that are being graded for the entire semester, so I should study for that as well. I'm going home to get HENRY (my car) before shipping off to Florida for spring break and I cannot be more excited. Once I hit Wednesday of next week, my motivation to do any work is going to be totally shot. I'll be in my apartment packing and don't bother knocking. 

In short, let's hope this interview works out, and is it spring break yet?

"Don't Let Your Life Live You, Buddy"

I went home this weekend and while we were all lounging in my family room in New Jersey my brother said the above quote. I immediately wrote it down. I feel like I'm letting my life live me. I realized a lot of things this weekend that I had always known but never accepted. I don't like Washington anymore. Going home I saw how much I missed seeing my family for more than 20 hours. I have complained about my family (as everyone does) but this weekend they were just what I needed. They listened, offered advice, and made me laugh. It was nice. 

 My train home was an hour delayed which stunk for my parents I'm sure. No one enjoys sitting in the Trenton train station watching the delay tile up. Valentine's Day was fabulous as expected. I watched the Star Wars trilogy with Terence (<3)>

Monday was another kick in the tush, as Monday's usually are and now that it's Wednesday I think I have a good handle on what I'm doing. Wednesdays are amazing seeing as I don't have any class and it's a day to catch up, so that's what I did. Despite the snow/rainy/grossness that it was doing outside today, I went out and ran a TON of errands and prepared myself for the next couple of days. 

I'm in a better mood today than I have been. Maybe it's my overwhelming feeling of accomplishment. Founders' Ball is this weekend so I'm excited to get all dressed up. A fun girls night might just be the cure, we'll see. I'm also seeing Vagina Monologues tomorrow night. I'm a first timer, I'm not going to lie though, making the poster for that event was fun ((at right)).

20 days until our Tampa vacation!!! I am so excited. If I survive it 20 days I am going to be ESTATIC. The airport

 employees are going to hate me because I'm going to be so giddy. 

For now, I'm off to do some reading for next week in hopes of making this weekend less stressful. Wish me luck :). 

<3.

Is It Friday Yet?

To be fair, this week was a thousand times better than last week. Once I handed in those postcards for Intermediate Typography the workload has severely decreased for the week. I think I'm still going to tweak them a little bit though. She's having us completely redo the packaging (which is a good thing because mine needed some work). I've never actually done packaging, so this experience will definitely be interesting. 

My Advanced Reporting class this morning was beyond agitating. We were making an attempt to contact a former student of my professor's who lives in India and needless to say, with the way technology works (or doesn't work) nowadays, we couldn't get a hold of her. But then for the rest of the class, the things we covered were either not relevant to anyone or only relevant to one person which was infuriating. I felt like it was one, big, two and a half hour waste. I started looking for jobs towards the end of the period which proved more successful than searches had in the past. Now I just need to find the time to revise my resume and find some portfolio samples to email out. I can't believe it's time to be looking for summer jobs already. Le sigh. 

This weekend should be amazing and I'm looking forward to it. After my Intermediate Type class tomorrow I'm hopping an Amtrak up North for Papa's birthday. I'm hoping to surprise him. If it's anything like last year, he'll have forgotten it's his bithday and wonder why I'm home :). A straight 24 hours with the family I'm hoping will prove to be therapeutic after a couple of weeks of Washington driven aggrivation. I'm starting to think I don't like it here as much as I once did which is disappointing, because now I just don't know where to go. 

I'm making a sad attempt to organize my life in hopes that some great idea will shine through the mess. I have a date with some cleaning supplies and my apartment around 4 today (after work) and I cannot be more excited. It's an exceptional stress reliever. Then I need to find something amazing to make for dinner. We'll see how that goes. 

Matt told me about this web site called www.fmylife.com which has been a godsend. When my entire class was at the Katzen lab at 1 am on Monday night and the printer started acting up it made everyone feel better. Yes, the alignments aren't lining up, but did you just find someone elses underwear under your bed? It puts everything into perspective. 

I'm getting really excited about my Project 365. Apparently I got my mother addicted as well. I' only about 20 days through the project but it's still exciting, even with my dinky camera. Here's the link... I'll continually update: Natalie's Project 365

Alright, time to focus on work. More after my cleaning therapy. 

<3.